9-8-10

9-8-10

For my next blog I am led to tell you all how I found my perfect for me mate. Granted I don't have him fully yet but I feel confident enough in this that I am getting rid of my tried and true personal ad because I don't plan on using it anymore. Even if worse case he doesn't come through for us I feel that God will bring the next one right to my doorstep or to one of my events. So keeping that in mind, and knowing advertising is key, I want to share my personal ad that worked for me:

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I want a guy who is fun and can communicate and is secure enough to allow me to keep my friendships as well as our one on one time together. I am a fun person and I am looking for a fun guy with a good personality and some heart and a lot of faith. Intelligence also a must! I want someone who not only can go out and have a lot of fun on a Saturday night but also spend a lazy Sunday just hanging out with me. not looking for instant commitment but do want someone who's open to that...and I have a list of very good reasons to date me!

I'll make you laugh
I'll take care of you when you're sick and sometimes just because I think you're great
I will make you feel good about yourself when something’s getting you down
I won’t demand attention like a starved child but I will let you know when i want a hug
When you cook dinner it turns me on
My heart will jump every time you walk through the door
I'll think you're just about the coolest person I know
My kisses will take your breath away
Your weird habits I'll find adorable
I can communicate well but don’t need to talk constantly
You'll sleep better when I'm next to you
I'll laugh at your jokes
I'd never give you sh*t about petty things
It gets better every time
I'll help you find your keys
I don't pine for any of my ex's
I'll never lie to you.
I can be ready in 20 minutes or less
I'll be your biggest fan
My chin fits 'just right' in your shoulder when you hold me close
I'm just that good
You won't be able to get me out of your head
I'll let you drive every time if you want
I'm very spiritual in a cool way you will like
You really kinda would dig having someone to cuddle with
I know how to leave you satisfied and hungry for more every time
I'll never waste your love

age 35-50, must have picture

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As you can see I start off the ad with exactly what I am looking for, short concise and most importantly I do NOT state what I don't want. No tired of liars and cheaters, no drug addicts or married men need not reply, no short guys, no tattoos, no untrimmed nose hairs, no farting (actually I do put up with that one) LOL But anyway all of these things should be expected, bringing them up only makes you appear negative and indicates you possibly put up with this in the past for far too long. You want to sound positive, like you have a life of your own and are not desperate for a full fledged commitment after the 3rd date!

Another thing you don't want to bring up in the beginning is sex. We are males and females and we, unless there's something wrong with us, are looking for a partner for fun and companionship and intimacy of both kinds. Making any sexual references will only get you people who want sex only and frankly I am not writing this blog for those types, I am sure there are plenty of other blogs for that. Next you also want to show that you are flexible and don't need to go out to expensive dinners and such all the time, this ad shows that I am just as happy to stay IN with a man as I am to go OUT. If you sincerely want to go out all the time and expect to be treated like a princess you can place an ad like that, but you must realize you are seriously reducing your dating pool when you do so. Most people want someone they can be comfortable with everyday as well as special occasions.

Next you will notice that I do not describe myself. People are so different and a age/wt/ht/measurements and eye/hair color just aren’t going to describe what you look like. A picture really is worth a thousand words and I generally post mine with my ad or at the very least exchange them the same day we start writing to each other. In my opinion the willingness to exchange photos says a lot. If some won't trade photos, (and I never fall for the I can't get one uploaded to my computer right now can we cam instead? ploy) then there is something wrong 99% of the time. Most likely they are married and cheating, sometimes they just have horrible self esteem and want you to get emotionally attached first in the hope that’s that you will overlook whatever perceive flaw there is about them. I also find people with huge trust issues to be the kind that can't be trusted, granted this is a generalization but in my opinion there really are plenty of fish in the sea and life is short. All I know is I am not willing to put on makeup, a nice outfit and drag myself out unless I have seen a picture, it’s also a trust thing, I can see a lot about a guy if I see his eyes. Speaking of eyes, I generally avoid people who's every photo they have sunglasses on, it’s a subtle sign that they have something to hide...a good honest man or woman will look you straight in the eye. Also please use recent photos, have at least one face shot and one full body shot, this will save you from lengthy descriptions and also if you are more than size 8 m or guys less that tanned and muscular, it will get the shallow ones moving right along and not wasting your time. And don’t feel that you aren’t attractive enough, the old saying “There is a glove for every hand” is very true!

Next you can see that I give a list of the things that I bring to the table, remember there are thousands of ads out there and yours needs to stand out. This is the time to tell them how great it will be to have you around, what you bring to the table of this relationship. Note I didn't list my income, or my physical attributes or my sexual prowess. Unless someone's looking for a sugar daddy or mamma income shouldn’t be such a factor. My MM works two jobs and I think I may make more than him, but I truly don't care, he's a hard worker and so what if I may have to buy him dinner sometimes, there are plenty of other ways to give to the relationship. Physical again is shown in the pictures and sexual compatibility, well once you start dating you will know whether the chemistry for that is there as I truly believe that those whom we are destined to be with or make good matches there is a biological chemistry thing there and we will recognize that in one another. Sexual compatibility is vital I think, it is in my opinion one of the ways that God created for us to stick together and rear our children and to take care of one another.

Lastly I want to touch on the very important issue of truth in advertising! Please don't write that you are into football and rock climbing if you'd rather catch a movie and or go to a museum or guys don't say you like long walks on the beach and candlelight dinners unless you really do. Trying to be what or who you are not is never the right way to go about getting a healthy long term relationship. At the same time don't be so inflexible that you won't try something new, I have been "talked into" quite a few things I never would have tired if a guy hadn't got me to do it. I recall the second time I stayed over at my MM's place when we first dated a few years ago and he whips out a huge bulky black helmet and says see if this fits ya! What for I said? Snowmobiling of course he says! I am thinking noooo way but tried it on to humor him, little did I realize that a few months later (after he bought me snowmobile boots for Christmas) that I'd be clinging onto him for dear life while we sped 85mph across a frozen lake in northern VT!! But ya know it was kinda fun. LOL Do I want to do that every weekend? No, but still I can cross it off my bucket list! So the important things here, be truthful and also flexible, love tries new things and looks to work with a partner.

Today think about what you bring to the table. Even if you aren’t looking for a partner it’s good to think about what a great catch you are anyway. Remember the first person who needs to love you is YOU, do that and then put into words all the reasons why………..


With Love and in the Light, Cassie

Looking for Love

PS
I almost forgot, it’s not a good idea to be on every personals ad site. One free site and one paid site, if you want to spend the money are sufficient. Otherwise you look desperate and the same people really are on all the sites. Besides who has time to read all those ads, you have a life to live! My guy found me on Craigslist, he just took a quick peek at the personals because he was looking for car parts or some other greasy guy hobby related thing. I think I’m the best spare tire he ever found there though. LOL