9-10-10

9-10-10

Divine guidance was the card of the day today, and boy after the week I had I sure needed some. Last night I ended up crying over some silly thing I saw in a TV show and realized just how hard I had been holding back the stress this week. And not all of my week was bad either, in fact there's a lot of hope and possibilities in it, but that doesn’t mean it wasn't stressful too. Change is always stressful even when it's things that you are wanting. Keep this in mind so you remember to take care of yourself in all times, especially during times of changes.

Monday I had made the choice that I do want to spend the rest of my days with my mystery man, I may not have everything exactly how I want it to be, he's not riding up on a horse (steel or otherwise) and getting down on one knee with a ring in his hand asking me to marry him and ride off into the sunset BUT we had agreed on the design and laid the foundation for the future that we want. Yep truly if I can keep the faith and not give up really the only thing now that stands between me and him and our happy ever after is time....

So I get to work Tuesday after my 4 day weekend and it just seemed like doors were opening up for me all over, once I had chose which path possibilities opened up. I mentioned this to someone in my spiritual community and they agreed. First thing: I got a notification in my work mail for a senior level position that I qualify for. I had taken this level 1 job a few years ago, just about the time my MM moved his "family" in, with the hopes of moving up quickly and turned down a level 2 position further away in PA....so far that's not happened but I did get moved to a different, even more preferable location. Anyway this job location is not where I want to be but I can't ignore the potential for more money. I did let my boss know, as is customary here at J&J that I applied. I have built my career over the past 10 yrs since my divorce and with no degree from floor mopping to QA analyst by 1. working really hard and doing my job and the person above me's job, 2. asking for promotions/raises, and 3. applying for other jobs when I didn't get number two!  I find the best way to get what I want is to start applying elsewhere, letting my boss know, 9 times out of 10 he gets it so he keeps me. Never underestimate your value in the workplace if you do a good job! Watch I will be making more money sometime soon....

The next thing that happened on Tuesday was I contacted Todd to see if he still wanted to go through with the rent to own thing, he had not replied to me all weekend so I decided that if he was not going to do it the only way for me to survive was if he moved out of the smaller side, Jeremy and I moved back in and I rented out my large side. Instead he said yes let’s do this draft something up and I will have a lawyer go over it for us. So I did and then I went with my son that night to get the rest of the used bedroom furniture from CL. At $20 a piece I may as well take it all and then I can leave the whole old set my ex-husband owned with my son. It's good to let go of things with negative energy attached to it when moving on. My son got so mean with me though I texted my ex and asked him to get me the phone# off the billboard down near him for that apartment, I gotta get away from this mean kid I said! Poor honey he texted back and sent me the # later that night.

Wednesday a friend I hadn't heard from in awhile posted happy birthday on my Facebook wall and I found out he owns an ophthalmology practice here in NJ so I told my mystery man time to quit buying the cheapo reading glasses since he needs such high one's and go see him. I know he will work something out for him. I also had a brain storm of an idea on how Matt could possibly get my re-finance approved and he liked it and said he'd keep working on it. I didn’t want to pay off the car anyway, so leaving that off, adding the value of the land that the appraiser left off but still paying off credit cards would leave me in good shape and with still 50K for a down payment whenever Todd and I closed based on our pre-agreed to price.

Thursday I called about the apartment but was discouraged about it being a 1 year lease, what if Todd can buy in the spring as we hoped? I didn’t want to be stuck in an apartment too long. But the voice inside kept saying no no call back call back, remember that billboard was located in the spot that your MM saw in his dream..... Ok let me think about it I thought, I can call Monday its still kinda soon anyway and I do want to wait for Mercury to go back out of retrograde first (happens Monday) When I got home and talked to Todd about it I felt better with the idea and recalled how I want to travel anyway. Then my son came out all upset, turns out since he didn’t open his mail he missed his court date and a warrant is out for him and the cops all know him and where he works and were waiting for him. UGH! I don’t know how to advise you on this I told him, Todd gave him some advice and I said I am so glad he's staying with you! Next week he's 20 its time he stop running to mommy and acting like such a big baby.

By that time I was losing it and made a call to Mary, pouring out all my problems to her and I was even getting upset and fearful because my MM hadn't asked to come see me, I had even thought of texting him that I was making spaghetti (one of his faves) and then decided not to, let’s see how long it takes him to miss me I thought! She gently reminded me though that I was stressed and he was after all a Libra, I was falling back to my old "he doesn't love me" fears and he was being the independent I know you are there let me go have some fun type and she is also a Libra and gets this about him. Cassie all that stands between you and what you want is time...hang in there. So I left him be but did send him an e-mail when I found out Darren planned and posted the Canada life coaching cruise. I had suggested that choice as I knew my MM wanted to see Canada and this way I could get there from a luxurious cruise ship complete with spa and all meals included instead of the back of his snowmobile! (he can do that with the guys while I wait by a fire and make a crock pot of soup!) Since it was under $500 I got bold and sent him a message that I'd pay for him if he'd go with me..... Sure I will spend much of my vacations in Vermont but once a year I do hope to go somewhere else...and I'd rather go with him than a friend (not that I don't have plenty who want to go with me for each place I want to go).

That evening a very spiritual friend IMed me and I talked of moving and my fear of not being able to decide where, stay near work, move halfway towards him, or move all the way down there where I love but is far from work... She didn’t even know my thoughts and said: move down near the shore the water is good for your soul and you for its soul. Wow thanks i said I am going to call that guy back Monday... Later talking to Ann Marie about my worries she said Cass don't worry you are going to find your happiness...it’s just a matter of time!

I went to bed, because I was worn out, allergy season kicking my butt all the stress etc. I started to recall a journey circle I had done with my shaman last summer--we were to go to a place of wisdom and we could ask ONE question. I asked tell me what I need to do to get done with this life asap. No we can't tell you they said, you must choose. But I don’t want to make a wrong choice I told them. There are no wrong choices only different outcomes, and showed me a maze and how only one way in and one way out. But still if you tell me where to turn....if I go one way something will happen if I go another way something different will........Ahhh now you have it they told me! and disappeared into the mist........

I woke up this morning and my MM had replied to the e-mail........sure why not let’s go he said........he had sent it at 10:10.......... I was glad and had an idea.. me and him living together in my house down the shore and all of our boys renting out his from him once we get them on their right paths….humm an interesting possibility to consider… I then started getting ready for work and in the bustle picked up a book I had in a pile to pack...Intuition by Osho, Darren's brother Dino had recommended it to me (he's the cuddly work-aholic I dated when I broke up with my MM) yup Intuition I think I am developing this one more and more, and tonight am going to Wendy's class on clairvoyance....soon I will get better at this dance of life and take better steps all by myself....

Today don't be afraid of the choices in your life, know that each time you choose a path different options will be before you and also doors will open up for you. Don't be afraid to knock a few times on a closed one either but if its solidly locked don't force it open, it may open later or it may be sealed for a reason.......and if you are calm and listen you will get divine guidance on which ones to choose. There are many angels and guides watching over us, whispering in our ears and the ears of those meant to be with us and they cry over each bad choice and cheer over each good one we make always knowing though that our happy endings are always at journeys end.. Don't be afraid to walk your path, face you changes and don’t forget it really is all about the journey after all………..

With Love and in the Light, Cassie

Changes


PS--gotta love this video, maybe you won't have all the dance steps right yet but you can still look cute doing them!