9-22-10

9-22-10

So what have you grown in your life this summer? We are now moving into the Autumn Equinox and it's time to harvest what we planted in the spring and cultivated over the summer in preparation for the winter.

As Kachina says it's time to further develop what we have created in this time or weed out that which is not coming to fruition and the card today was Truth & Integrity which really matches this sentiment. Be true to yourself and,"Let go of anything inauthentic, and all activities that do not mirror your highest intentions for yourself."

Our lives are like gardens and many of you are familiar with the bible quote that says "You reap what you sow" But what many of us don't understand is that sometimes it turns out we sowed our seeds in the wrong soil, or we didn't tend to it properly or maybe we planted what we thought was one thing and it turned out to be another. Our relationships with others, how we live our lives, and also the projects that we take on can be compared to this. As I sit here and contemplate this I really do see so many ways to compare it in parable form so let me try to explain a few of them, I so wish I had more time to be a better author but let me do what I can....

For one, I have a friend who kinda reminds me of a potato. Last winter he was a good staple to have around and provided my life with much nourishment. But as spring came along the relationship began to rot a bit, other relationships were coming along that were fresher, more satisfying, and this one besides rotting was starting to grow all kinds of ugly appendages similar to the way a potato grows sprouts out of its eyes. Well I knew that those show promise of life so I did what we did back home, cut the potato up so that each section had a sprout and planted them in the ground to grow and left them alone for the summer. This friend now, well he has grown, and we are talking again and making plans for things we want to work on together. I think when I dig up that field I will find lots of fresh whole potatoes to keep us fed over the winter...

Then I thought of Randy, and how I spent my time tending that tree this summer that was being neglected, so I thought, and hoping it would bring me some fruit to keep me this winter. But alas someone else came along and said Oh No! You put this tree in your garden 4 years ago but after just one season you abandoned it and we have laid claim to it and it's fruit, it belongs to us! Mary got concerned when I told her he wasn't going to make this happen as she had seen so she talked to him and she tells me after the fact, and basically he told her that no he does not want to leave the life he has, he may not like it but it's stable, they never leave him and he's become comfortable with it. Sure he loves me and I make him happy but he doesn’t trust me to not pick up and leave him again, that seems to be the pattern of my life he told her and because I have been hurt or angry at the situation this summer so much he feels I am just one text message away from dumping him so yeah he'd rather let them have the fruit from his tree because they stay and wait for it and maybe they break his branches climbing up to take the fruit but at least his tree has life in it. He can't see that I am hurt and angry because I am hungry and he won’t give me his fruit he gives it to them, who wouldn’t be hurt and angry, but he feels I don't deserve it....oh well perhaps I don't deserve his but I deserve someone’s!

So it's time for me to face that the only thing I am going to get from his tree is a little shade now and again, in the winter a place for this bird to sit in the branches, a little companionship once in a while but no fruit, no ring, no living together that belongs to them so I can spend a little time there but I must not spend much or I will remain alone and I don’t want that I want a tree of my own not one who’s fruit all is taken by others. When I first got this tree it wasn’t mature and the fruit was small, not so sweet, since he never made a commitment to me I didn't think I would ever get any lasting satisfaction there, the roots I didn't think were going to stay and I didn't wait around long enough to find out, I had options he wasn’t my last hope and he didn’t love me enough or he would make some real promises I thought. But some relationships take extra time just like some crops so, you can't harvest the first year or so, they take more work.... Then again there are some trees that no matter how much work you put in will never bear fruit, I didn't know which one he was, and dire predictions abounded from friends and family of his so I moved on and put my energy in other places. I kept checking the tree but someone else kept it picked clean. I see now that his roots in my life are deep though, I can sit under this tree and find some contentment and I shall do that. But his fruit is no longer mine and I can't spend all my time sitting here despite how content it makes me feel or I will starve. I must search new trees and put in work in other areas for something that will sustain me. When I need a rest my tree is there and I can be happy that the tree is happy to give his fruit to them. I am glad for him, I want him to be happy and secure.

But not to worry about me, I have so many many different crops in the garden of my life that I am going to have a wonderful winter! I can preserve some of these that turned out the best and they will sustain me for years to come. The ones that spoiled or were no good can be put in the compost bin, one bad apple really can spoil the whole bunch so don't hang onto the bad ones! Or the bad friends! You really do become what you hang around with... Don't keep working on projects that aren't producing or you will end up starving. Don’t keep planting seeds in soil that has become barren, most farmers know to rotate crops to different fields or they wear out the soil, and in forests it's smart to cut down the huge old trees so that new ones can grow, If you don't everything starves or a forest fire comes and wipes it out for new life to sprout. And if you think you can be lazy and not do the work try playing all summer and failing to pull the weeds, you may get a crop but it will be a weak one.

Now my home I live in is like a plot of land, one that I bought at a big risk and tended and worked and toiled. But it has brought me many rich harvests over the years, my son's had a lovely place to grow up, I had many many parties here and many friends came here and also enjoyed this piece of land, many a holiday was celebrated here. But the soil is weak and used up, the fence is falling down and the gate fell off the hinges, I need a smaller field now, with fresh soil, new fencing to protect it, and so it’s time to pull up my roots and transplant them into a new field. I found a house yesterday that I am going to go look at on Friday. It's a rent to own kind of situation but it's more expensive than what I can afford right now. If I want this to work I am going to have to get roommates in 2 of the three bedrooms, and I am going to have to get that promotion I am hoping for, or start earning money with SpiritStones or something. But it's EXACTLY what I want, it's in the area my heart is calling me to, it’s a ranch style, all new and fresh I won't have to work hard to fix it up and from the back deck I can see the bay, the boats and NYC skyline! I never would have even clicked on the ad for it but I answered a CL ad for an apartment and asked also for a small rent to own home.

I talked to a few friends about this and many cautioned me, oh you better just get a small apartment, are you sure you want to go there, this is not a safe investment they say. But then I am reminded of the dream that I had and this looks like it just may be what I envisioned, and heck when I got divorced even my divorce lawyer told me it was foolish but I wanted to try and keep my house, I didn’t want to put my sons in a crappy tiny apartment and I don’t really want to put myself into one now, Smaller and easier, yes but cramped and ugly no. I am going to go look at it, and if its Gods will he will show me how to make it happen....God provided for me in miraculous ways before when I could barely make it, if he wants this for me now he will provide again. I was thinking of this on my way to an event last night and looked up at the temporary plate on the car in front of me it said 10-10--10! That's the date that I had wanted to get married, not going to happen, its the date I then hoped Randy would ask me to marry him, that’s probably not going to happen either........BUT this is MY life and I can use the energy of 10-10-10 for ME for what I want to do for what new plot of land I want to care for and what seeds I want to plant........I can love me and my life no matter who is in it or what harvest they are all bringing to my table. I also planted seeds for this business in the spring, spending money I could not afford and working hard on putting together kits....now this fall we can try to sell them and see if we planted good seeds or not, if we put them on good solid or rocky ground.....but hey there is no greater faith than to buy a field, plant a seed, give it some water and some love and see what you get......what's that quote? There is not one single blade of grass that does not have an angel leaning over it saying "grow grow!" Do you think we each are any less than a blade of grass?

Today take a look at what you are harvesting in your life, did you plant the right seeds? Take good care of your plants? Plant on fertile ground? Have your cleared the weeds and the rotten fruit? Maybe you want to move to a new field for next year or maybe you want to re-design the way you are going to plant for next time. Don’t forget to cover the roots well of those perennial favorites either…..to everything there is a season……enjoy your harvest moon!



With Love and in the Light, Cassie

Turn Turn Turn

People come into your life for
a Reason
a Season
or a Lifetime.

When you know which one it is,
you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
to provide you with guidance and support,
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then,
without any wrongdoing on your part
or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something
to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met,
our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered
and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real.
But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
things you must build upon in order
to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson,
love the person
and put what you have learned to use
in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life,
whether you were a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime.